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Archive for the ‘Life’ Category

I just happened to read this quote

“In life, as in restaurants, we swallow a lot of indigestible stuff just because it comes with the dinner.” – Mignon McLaughlin.

Wait a minute, “swallow” – who made you to swallow? You don’t have to swallow! You can spit it out if it’s disgust tasting. Isn’t that a waste to dine out at a lavish restaurant for some weird indigestible foods?
If a dinner is with indigestible stuff, I would rather not have that dinner.
The bottom line, you just don’t have to swallow any stuff that you don’t see yourself digesting. Just observe a baby spitting up the foods, you’ll see this very clearly. True to themselves, aren’t they? Babies do teach us a lot, don’t they?
Therefore we have other quotes, “Life is all about choices” or “The choice you make is the life you take”.
If we can (and yes, we can!) consciouly choose to have a more pleasant tasting dinner, that will make our lives easy.
There’s one line in an 80’s song “if it makes you happy, then why the hell are you so so sad”. I think it also works in the opposite way, “if it makes you so sad, then why the hell are you happy”. How could you live such a pretentious life?
You can make change at any time, and it’s smart to change before it’s too late, before your mentality and healthsake are compromised.
By consistenly applying this analogy in all aspects of our lives, we will have achieved a balanced, satisfied life full of vitality.

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One of the best articles!
A common sense but not every successful people get it. Many newly successful business persons tend to have the “arrogant, selfish, ruthless” behavior, as in that saying “success goes into your head”… until it comes to the down time be it business or family or else they’d learn that life is all about “ups and downs”, or “everything has its own cycle”.

Being aware of your failures gives you a unique sense of empathy, humility, even humor, that others don’t possess. It means approaching your job, each and every day, with a level of genuine openness to the ideas and positions of others, not in spite of the fact that they differ from yours, but because they do, because you know you might be wrong and they might be right.


Success also means never forgetting to give back to community. This helps build you as a person and grow who you are and your business(es).

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One month since my last post, I am finding myself in the mood for writing again. April was a busy month with mainly family-related matters, as it turned out.
After finishing up work-related projects, I found myself travelling to California attending my cousin’s funeral. He had passed after 1 year of struggling with lung cancer, was survived by a beautiful wife and three young kids. She (his wife) wore an exhausted look, but was so strong. So were the kids. Parallel to that, re-visiting other relatives in the west coast was a refreshing and renewal event.
Back home in Texas, it was Mom’s birthday and the brother was home. At the same time going on was the community event at Vietnam Temple.
The other relative in town needed help with attending his kids as his wife was in Vietnam visiting her ill father. I was relieved that he’s recovered well after the surgey. Hope the thing in his brain is going away, by some magical power…
It seems that I am a “girl on mission” (someone has viewed me coming across as that).
As always, when May is here, I am nervous as I am afraid of losing summer time. I always have that feeling that summer will run out on me. For years, I have made it a yearly mission for me to celebrate Summer beginning (Memorial weekend) and Summer ending (Labor Day weekend).
Social life-wise, I believed in giving the best shot in whatever I do and while I am at it. I gave it 6 months since I started opening up my horizon… It’s weird that things just started picking up. There are things in life that happen when you least expect. I believe that is also my case, when the timing is right. It could be also some kind of message that I have paid enough attention to and listened to… A powerful message or a strong feeling?
Over the years, with lessons learned and time so precious, I have narrowed down the list of my preferences, at the same time resorted to all possibilities. There are men who impressively reads/understands me well in the very first place without a question in mind, and the number of them is small. Then of whom there are those who communicate their thoughts well, some don’t. Some with fascinating mind. Others with mysteries… for me to discover, hm? It is quite a challenge, but I gain many interesting perspectives indeed. It’s an insanely crazy world when everyone is looking for someone and is so skeptical and/or so cautious at the same time…
A quote has this, “those of us who listen and follow the messages that life offers live closest to our destiny and have the best lives.” How Life’s destiny and purpose merged, what Life offers next – I am curious and excited to see …

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1. Does a true scientist (or any truly educated person) have the social responsibility to behave a bit more responsibly with more open, logical attitude outside of his/her area of work?
2. If the answer to my previous question is “Yes”, then, can we afford to continue compartmentalizing inquisitiveness and rational thinking?
3. Lastly, is it at all possible to become rational in some issues but not in many others?

Intrigued by this article at Nature Forum, and triggered by the author’s questions, I have now brought this topic out of my belly after holding it in for so long …
Truthfully, the trigger happened three years ago, when I had a conversation with a Vietnamese elderly – a healthy, lovely woman in her late 70s. I always commented how good and young she looked. It was quite pleasant seeing how she loved to dress up and take care of her self, while she was also such an active lady, gardening and doing houswork from inside out. She loved to talk about how she took care of her kids even now they are in grown-up ages, and share her family stories. She loved talking to me ( I think I am good with seniors). How many kids does she have? I think she said 8, older half of whom are girls and the younger half are boys. It was just one sentence she uttered during one of our conversations – “just being a (did she say “good”?) human is enough …” Wow, not all Asian parents can say that, I thought. A Vietnamese traditional mother can expect alot from her kids but to her, she realized that her kids are always hers and do not expect them to be perfect, I guess at some point after all the mundanes of life … She struggled with approving her son’s marriage with a Filippinos girl. She was proud of her son who is a doctor, who and another turned out to be gay men. She admitted having forced her daughter into being married at a young age (in college years) to an older doctor, then her tone changed as she did not feel happy for her daughter’s marriage life. How many more such Vietnamese mothers who could come out of that hard-shell and become so true to themselves. Not that many…
So back to the 3 questions above, here are my answers/comments:
1. Yes and No. First we have to define, what is “open” or “logical”; what or when to be considered outside of work. Traditionally, scientists always strive to be good examples, at least for their children and for their own values, serious and humble at the same time. We can hardly see a scientist who is dressed-down, bikes to school/lab, and has such characters nowadays… There is only one Isăc Newton or one Albert Einstein. Scientists do not make as much earning as their (working) peers do in the same profession. And there are amateur scientists and scientists. The competition and the desire to accomplish more have put more pressure on them and unfortunately, a minority of them has become greedy and dishonest. They are human beings, after all. They don’t call themselves “geniuses”. We the community of admirers praised them “genius”.
Is there such a condition as in “to be a (good) scientist, you have to be a good human being”? Another saying, “does preacher practice what he preaches?”. I notice that scientists do have good analytical thinkings, but sometimes some (but not all) have no common sense out of a life situation. As an adult, we are responsible for our own acts and words. Don’t we teach our kids not to lie, to steal, to kill? Then these are the basic principles. To a higher level, we all should have our own established principles. Practice makes perfect. Knowing that habit is the result of recurring activities, we should learn to train our thoughts, our daily acts and reactions into healthy habits. It would be ideal if we all keep our ethics consistent in all and every aspect of life. Someone, an anlyst or a reporter on a news channel recently broke out that “Humans are the only animal that has or is clearly aware of our own morality…” which then led to my another question, “what moraliti(es) do humans have?” What’s moral for one maybe not for other? We need exception rules here.
A scientist has no choice except to kill one mouse or one rabbit to learn how their brain reacts to certain concentration of saline intake, to help cure the high blood pressure and obesity in humans.
Does that define him/her as immoral or a bad human being?

2. “compartmentalizing” or “acting accordingly” or “multi-faceted”? I agree with another commenter. If a person is rational in true sense, s/he will be that way all the time.

3. Talking about rational again – What are those “some” issues? Define! Well, we’re human beings and sometimes act silly, or goof up a little bit, but have to define a fine line between what’s acceptable and what’s not accpetable. And simply, just being yourself, true self is good enough.
It is ok to be divergent, but keep your own values consistent.

Lastly, how about putting all irrational people in a rooom and hear them talk – it would be hilarious. A comedy show, I think. It was just a funny thought while sitting in a meeting and somebody mentioned having some staff go to a “Rational Thinking ” class.

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I have gained a new perspective from reading this comment posted at AnswerBag. What led me to this page was a triggering comment by a guy friend yesterday, about “women are complicated” (from his experience, I confirmed). I could analyze on and on, I would or may never get what he had in mind. I could have a bunch of questions for him to answer, but then I would become so aggressive or opinionated. Good or bad?
Well, I am very convinced by this excerpt that sometimes instead of analyzing we’d just accept the facts or be aware of the happenings. A kid in me always wants me to ask why, ponder into the reasons behind certain incidents. But over the years, I’ve learned to accept the answers, to just be aware of the facts to what happened, not to ask why too much. Awareness refers to knowing or finding out the why, the what, it takes some problem solving (again, analytical) skills, I believe, and then we have to understand that is the how of the matter. The final picture is what we hold as a lesson or just an acknowledgment. And now I find the word for this process, “synthesis”.

Complicated and simple are actually two sides of the same coin: in order to see complexity, you have to have the notion of simplicity, and vice-versa. So neither complexity NOR simplicity have any independent reality of their own.

But so what? That’s not really what we humans are concerned about when this question comes up, is it? What we want to really know is “why am I confused, and how can I know what’s important and what to focus on?” There’s an anxiety associated with this sense that life is so complex that it’s pulling us in many directions at once and we can’t get “centered”.

There are two opposite capacities that we have as humans: analysis and synthesis. Analysis is based in the mind’s ability to separate things from each other: to form concepts, draw boundaries, build models of relationships, etc. This discriminative ability is what makes life look complicated: WE chop reality up into lots of little pieces and study them in isolation, and the number of such pieces we can create is actually infinite.

So if we ONLY have analysis running (without any synthesis), we end up with a distressingly LARGE supply of pieces to study.

Synthesis is different: synthesis puts pieces together into larger wholes. Most of us are not nearly as good at synthesis as we are at analysis, but many of us can do it well in specific areas: someone who has really “mastered” an art form, craft, or sport is practicing synthesis — they have “become one” with their chosen discipline, creating a synthesis in which “self and paint”, or “self and instrument”, or “self and ball” have ceased to be two completely separate things, and have merged into a larger whole.

From the outside, such a synthesis may look like magic, and in a way it is. But it’s more valuable to see the deeper process at work: the collecting of bits and pieces and restoring their original wholeness, prior to discrimination / separation — that’s what resolves our anxiety about complexity.

So why does THIS explanation sound so complicated? Because the mind which analyzes wants to cling to thorough explanations, and having such an explanation helps it to relax a bit. What we’re really talking about in practical terms is learning to be aware (synthesis) instead of continuing to focus on thinking (analysis).

Awareness is synthesis: if you want life to be simpler, without going down some strange tunnel like throwing out 90% of your stuff, learn to be more aware. That will solve the life-is-complicated problem where it really matters.

I used to have this saying “Life is complicated already. Simplify it.” Since I’ve practiced awareness and synthesized all that life has offered, yes, “life is short. Life has its own meaningful seasons”.
Next time I would just say “That is so her”. Or, “that is just him”. The choice we make, the life we take. We can choose to accept him/her, but can’t change who he/she is.
On a Christian TV station, the hostess always says bye with “Life is fragile. Take care of each other.”
So, using the opening sentence I can conclude it in this quote: “Complicated and simple are actually two sides of the same coin – the key is you can flip your coin.”

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